Originally Posted by Karen 29th September 2006


Balashov learned quickly that what the colonel had feared about him was true, he could not stand the noise and the killing. He panicked and froze and was of no help to anyone. He had earlier had an encounter with a farrier named Chanov, a docile and timid man, and once he learned that Chanov was a castrate he thought he was "insane, sick-souled." Balashov was looking for answers from this supposed man of God who has said to Balashov (on page 125) "that when the war came, he would be there for my salvation."

After the battles, he walked for hours, realizing he escaped without a cut and so many had been slaughtered. "But I did not feel saved. I felt filthy inside, as if my soul would never be clean again..." After the war, Balashov again came upon Chanov.and he felt his calling to join this sect of self made "angels"...

In his letter to his wife, he concludes with his statement, "I wanted you to know I am a deserter, and an angel, I have been castrated and I am happy."


What do you think Balashov's true motivation was for his castration?

Why did he not just allow her to think he was dead, killed in the war?

Herestoyou


I believe that Balashov and Anna really had a passionate love for each other and were very close. I guess he could have just let her think he died, but I think he felt he owed her an explanation for his actions. In his mind what he did made him a better person, even though I don't think he clearly understood the reaction that Anna(or any woman) for that matter would have about it. Later in the book, I got the feeling that Balashov truly felt sorry for what he had put Anna through. He tries to make some kind of ammends by his actions at the end of the story.What torture though, for him to be so close to his son and not have his son know who his father was; maybe that was Anna's motivation for coming to Yazyk.

Nurseanne8


I feel that Balashov was truly spiritual and was disgusted by the lifestyle of the fellow officers but accepted his responsibility as a soldier. After the battle in which most of his regiment was killed he came face to face with his fear and cowardice. The initiation and membership into the castrate sect-provided Balashov an acceptable "cover" for his act of desertion from the army. Balashov truly loved Anna and felt compelled to offer her an explanation for his actions. I agree with previous posts-it would have been better for Anna and her son to assume that Balashov died a hero in the war.

Karen


I wonder how much guilt he had for these actions and used this as a way to hide from the world?

He said he felt filthy...I wonder if he thought the shame and filth of his desertion would have "bled over" onto his wife and child? Fear is a huge motivator, as is guilt.

Nurseanne8


good points-he definitely feels guilt and possibly his act of heorism at the end of the book was driven by guilt.

Karen


Or maybe he thought it was a good way to "atone" for his misdeeds in the world?

Nurseanne8


Possibly but he would not "mount the white horse" by his action of atonement-according to the sect members.

Herestoyou


True, so in the end, did he decide that his heavenly salvation wasn't as important as his salvation in the eyes of his wife and child? If he died as a hero, this would fit his child's view of what happened to his father. I agree that it was his way to atone to his family for not "deserting" them as well as the army.

Karen


Maybe he realized that his heavenly salvation in the eyes of the sect wasn't a true way to salvation? Maybe he realized he'd be a better man and better parent by trying to protect his child and wife?

Nurseanne8


Possibly besides trying to atone for his past behavior-a sense of rage motivated Balashov to kill Matula because- Anna was going to have to "pay" for the escape of Samarin with her life-as she agreed (page 238)-and his training as a hussar gave him the cunning and skills to mount the surprise attack on Matula. One theme that reasonates throughout the book is Balashov's concern for the safety of the widow and her son-he never stopped caring for them even he thought he had became an "angel" and was a messanger for God.

Deppraved


I think he felt like he didn't deserve to be the survivor, due to his weaknesses and imagined cowardice in battle...and this state of mind left him searching and vulnerable to the influence of the sect. He acted on impulse during this weakened mental state.

And as to why he sent Anna the letter, he hated himself for the deception. He knew lying was his biggest weakness, and prevented him from being as holy as he wanted to feel.

And maybe, he sub-consciously hoped she'd seek him out! He still cared for her, and Alyosha, and there was guilt, and he wanted to see his son.

But I don't think he was consciously aware of these feelings.

Nurseanne8


Deppraved -I like your comments and now I have two questions I need help with from JDR members-do you think that Balashov regretted his decision to be castrated? Why did he go to such lengths to shield and protect Anna when she felt rage for him? I have not figured this out yet.

Herestoyou

Great question! I don't think he regretted his decision as it was his way, as was said above, to relieve himself of the guilt of surviving in the battle. At the same time, he did love Anna and I think he understood her anger towards him and was willing to accept it. He truly felt he now had a higher purpose even it meant turning his back on his family. Also, the comment about him joining the sect due to a weakened mental state was just right on target. And isn't that the way many people end up becoming involved with fringe cults or sects, due to some weakened reasoning ability at that particular time in their life?

Nurseanne8


Very good points herestoyou-and once a person has started down a path it is hard to turn back-especially when suffering is required.