Originally Posted by Karen 8th August 2006

Antoine says "At eighteen I felt I had experienced everything that constitutes, roughly speaking, the average full life, ranging from love to work, lofty ideals to crass ambition, disappointment to boredom."

He marries, has two children and at thirty five he moves into Happy Days - A private Retirement Home.


Could you imagine anyone you know doing this? What do you think Antoine missed in life or on the other hand what did he experienced by being there?

Jesse


I hope you don't mind me jumping in here with an answer to this question because I haven't read this book. But, when I read todays question, I was quite astounded because the answer for me is yes, I do know someone who thought about it.

I lived next door to this person about 12 years ago and he was the same age as me - late 20's at the time. He had been born slightly mentally impaired and found school and the eventual challenge of getting a job a huge hurdle to overcome. His one true love was gardening and when he left full time compulsory school spent a lot of time with the school groundsman who eventually put him into contact with a gardener from a retirement home. He was successful in getting a job there and got along incredibly well with the residents. One day, whilst he was helping me to trim my hedging, he said that he was thinking of leaving home (whom he shared with his very elderly mother) and going to live at the retirement home. He said he wouldn't have to worry about getting to work each day, he would have his meals provided and would be in the company of friendly intersting people who all had incredible stories to tell of their lives.

I was quite astounded, and felt rather sorry for him because when I looked at my contented life with a husband, a home of my own and a young baby, I couldn't help but feel he had missed out on so much in life. It seemed such a strange thing to contemplate at such a relatively young age. I knew he would never have the things I had, but in all honesty, it didn't really seem to bother him, it concerned me more. He genuinly seemed to take great joy in his work and new found friends. He talked about it with me for many months, but eventually decided not to do it. It was his mother that held him back because she refused to move into the retirement along with him. He said if it wasn't for her digging her heals in that he would have done it.

His mother has passed away now, and he never did make that move.

I really must read this book, the parallels in this story and the person I know seem very surreal.

Karen


WOW Jesse that is a really amazing story and what an amazing person he is! Thanks so very much for sharing that with us. I wonder how his world would have changed had he made the move?

I'd love to hear what you think of the book, it's VERY short...about 90 small pages...

Again, thanks for telling us about your neighbor, life and people never fails to amaze me.

Captainjacksparrow

The first question is an easy one. Yes. Has anyone now days been in a Private Retirement Home. They have more fun "field trips" and "Journeys" and all around fun things to do. Like in the book the art projects and the likes. It would be a fun and entertaining place to be. They are always doing something to keep everyone "busy"..with none of the daily worries of housecleaning and cooking...

The next question is a little more challenging for me...what did he miss in life..I think it was a real purpose..yes I know he had a wife and kids...but he seemed so disconnected to them. Almost like that was what was expected of him so he had them...but with no real thought of making a connection with them..if that makes any sense. In his early life it was just like he was following the motions and not really following his heart.

Now the next one...what did he experience by being there....with Mireille he found his purpose and thus a reason for living.

Karen


I get the feeling that to Antoine...a *taste* of something is enough for him. Like reading the Cliff Notes for a book...it gives you the idea of the book, but not what it's really about..

Nurseanne8


I think that Antoine did not go through the "normal" stages of mental and emotional development that most youth and adolescents pass through. I feel he is emotionally stunted and does not have the desire or energy to engage in relationships with fellow humans. We all know that establishing and maintaining relationships requires energy, trust, and a cetain amount of risk taking-which are alien to Antoine-I love the post about the mentally challenged man-very thought provoking-I would never choose this myself-I am afraid later in life I would be bitter and regret the my decision. I like this book!!

Karen


For such a small little book....it's a HUGE story in reality!

Nurseanne8


Agreed and he does not waste words to get his point across-wish I were skillful in that area.

Deppraved


I do not know anyone who would consider this a lifestyle option and I certainly couldn't concieve of it and possibly never--I'll go kicking and screaming!

I'm 52 years young, and I'll be 75 years young, and god willing, young until the end--sagging skin and failing health be damned!

Deppraved

I'm very impressed with the English translation...the economy and choice of words are a beautiful thing!

Nurseanne8


Agreed-like that saying "less is more" or something along those lines-alas to many words.